Gonna start writing again

So here I sit..new at this blogging thing. I am a little out of it right now, had a long weekend good times with some friends and disappointments with others. Sometimes I struggle with trying to figure out what kinds of people I want in my life. Some people I trust but I can't stand to be around and others I can chill with but I would not trust them with my life. I am really not sure what I should be doing and what direction I am headed. Right now my head is spinning and my stomach is turning..I should consider myself grateful that I am actually feeling something cuz its proof that I am ALIVE. Oh but how many different definitions of ALIVE are there and how many long and pointless discussions I could have with certain people about this. I am really hoping my writing again becomes and outlet for me and my anger issues. Or maybe just an outlet for my feelings cuz lately I have no control over how I feel. Shit you would think with the nausea and hormonal tendencies I might be pregnant..lol pregnant with stress that's for sure. I feel so used right now..and lonely sometimes because no one else could ever fathom the thoughts and feelings floating in my head..